Waking Dream

I decided to Meditate this morning and I felt completely relaxed. After about an hour I began to see myself in a familiar place my grandmothers home. I was sitting on her sofa and I looked towards the window and in came a dove and landed on one of her chairs. Also there was my youngest daughter, she became excited to see the dove. I just sat there and knew it was there to give me a message. I looked down to the floor and notice a small peacock nestled by the chair and wondered why it was there. Very beautiful blue bird but all its feathers were enclosed. And it just sat there quietly and out of the way. I thought I better take a picture of the birds because I thought for sure no one would believe they came to visit. I went to the kitchen to get a camera and looked up to see a monarch butterfly fluttering on a cabinet door. I am amazing and wondering why they are here, when I turned around I saw the dove flying across the living room with no head and then its head was flying towards me and landing on my finger. At that moment I asked my nephew who showed up out of nowhere why he cut its head off and he responded; "It had to be done" And soon afterward I opened my eyes and been thinking upon these things since then if anyone has any insight I would love to hear it.

Sleep Contempment

For the last few weeks after coming to this new way of thinking, old habits are starting to break. I use to never be able to sleep wholly through the night and often break night entirely for days on end till I finally crashed. It would be the fear of what if's and worries and spiritual presents that would plague me, dreams of terrible fantasies would play out in my sleep. I am so Grateful now, I been having absolute rest. Sleeping the entire night now waking with the sun, sometimes a little before. I feel so good and am able to accomplish whatever goals I have set for that day. This is this mornings first thought and I am so Happy its a good one. I am so Grateful to be alive and amongst the living today!

My Introduction!

HI, My Name is Sheila also known as Sidonia.. Sid for short. I'm 32 years young! ha and have four vibrant daughters. My eldest is 9, twins 4 y.o. & a 2 y.o. I'm also a small business owner and soap maker. This is my first time ever writing about my life and passions. I have never quite grasp the concept of sharing my life with others and been closed in most my life. Well that stops now. I am on a new path, to share my heart & passions, learning's & experiences and even my creations! Life in a box has been no fun, limiting myself has stricken me, and I feel stifled. My mind and body has suffered and the growth of my children as well. Religious beliefs try to conform me and isolate me from the world as a whole. You know the saying divide and concur.  Well a few months ago I began the search within and the lines began to blur, I have begun to see beauty in all beliefs and differences and am now seeing life quite different. I have begun to see God in me! I am realizing I created this world I'm in and If I want something different, If I am to be different. I must start with me. Its time for me to create a new world in me. I want to share the joys and pains of my new awareness of my being. The ups and downs. The journey to my enlightenment! My physical and spiritual transformation. To be honest with myself and you. Am I ready (laughing nervously at this very question) my mind says no, but my heart, My Heart says Yes do it, its time. Love starts with self. wow this is harder than I thought to write I Love Myself Exactly as I am, in the state I'm in brought a tear to my eye. Is this the start to my healing, i hope so.  Blessing, be back soon ~Sid